"Welcome from Marie" (March 8, 2011)

Welcome from Marie     

Brain Injury Blog by Marie Cooney

March 8, 2011

Welcome from Marie

Hi! My name is Marie Cooney, and I am very proud to have the opportunity to start blogging regularly for Lash and Associates Publishing. I have survived, not one, but two Traumatic Brain Injuries. Both happened while I was working as a stagehand in the theater. Most people don’t know how dangerous the theater can be. When something bad happens, it is often very bad. Making “the magic of theater” isn’t always so magical. When a performer gets injured, it’s news. When it’s a stagehand, it’s Work Comp, if you’re lucky.

After my first closed head injury, I self-moderated my return to work. Like many TBI survivors, I was simply trying to survive. I didn’t follow through on retaining a good lawyer and my rights to lost wages, all reasonable and necessary medical care, and retraining if necessary. Like many TBI survivors, my long term relationship ended after my injury. I didn’t believe it when my partner ended our ten year relationship with a two week notice. I was fired as friend and life-partner. What made it even harder is she never explained why.

Once, she said to me, “If you have a brain injury, there is no hope!” I ran upstairs, grabbed a medical report, and shoved it in her hands yelling, “Don’t you dare ever tell me there is no hope!” I have since learned I may have been experiencing the “heightened emotions” of some TBI survivors. Whatever the reason for the breakup, I left almost everything behind. But I fought for Tucker.

Samuel TUCKER, the most handsome and smartest Border Collie, was my saving grace. I don’t know how I would have survived my first head injury and the end of my relationship without the love, devotion and companionship of my dog. Anyone who has a service animal, a therapy dog, or any pet understands the importance they have in our lives. They are even more important, when our previous lives, as we have known them, have been destroyed. Some of the topics I will be writing about include:

• Tucker Taught Me…. Don’t Forget to Eat!
• Tucker Taught Me… Drink Lots of Water!
• Tucker Taught Me… Take Your Medicine!
• Tucker Taught Me… Let’s Chase Rabbits!
• And more “Tucker Taught Me…. Tales”

In 2005, I sustained a second Traumatic Brain Injury, when I fell off the stage and cracked my head on the cement floor below. As I tried to explain to my mother: She lost her other half, when my father died. I lost the previous me, after the second TBI. It’s been a long journey to reclaim a new life: a combination of parts of the old me, who I am today, and who I am becoming. The life I am reclaiming now is not what I had dreamed, but it’s neither all bad nor all good. There is a lot in between.

Please let me know if there are specific topics you would like me to cover. Thanks again to Lash and Associates and all of you for this wonderful opportunity.

Marie G. Cooney



For more information regarding future Tucker Taught Me stories, please see Lash and Associates Publishing/Training. They provide resources for people with brain injuries, family, friends, and professionals. Feedback THERE lets them know people are reading my blogs. Feedback HERE is also welcomed. Thanks.

http://www.lapublishing.com/ is their home page

http://www.lapublishing.com/blog/ is the blog home page

http://www.lapublishing.com/blog/2011/brain-injury-blog-post/ is introduction by Marie Cooney

http://www.lapublishing.com/blog/2011/brain-injury-blog-dog/ is Tucker Taught Me Find a Good Lap

"TUCKER TAUGHT ME... Find a Good Lap"

TUCKER TAUGHT ME... FIND A GOOD LAP!

By Marie G. Cooney

 © April 3, 2011

When I was a little girl, I already knew what Tucker had to teach me after I got hurt. Find a good lap! Not just any lap. Find a good lap. Tucker helped me to remember there were lots and lots of very good laps: sitting on my mommy’s lap reading a good book, galloping on my daddy’s lap pretending I was a wild horse, and snuggling with my sisters talking about this and that.

I loved cuddling in my grandmother’s lap and touching the softness of her face, or running to my grandfather’s strong and opened embrace, then flying high above his head like an airplane and landed gently, once again, in his lap, of course. Big laps! Little laps! Lots and lots of laps! Cousins, friends, and neighbors too, there were good laps everywhere. All I needed to do was find one, or two, or three or more. Any lap I liked would do. And I liked lots and lots of laps.

Dogs are pretty smart. Tucker always knew when he had found a good lap! Tucker also knew which laps to avoid. He wouldn’t go anywhere near those laps. With animals, they say it is instinct. With people, they call it intuition. Either way, it’s the way of knowing something, without any rhyme or reason, just because you know it. And that is that! No questions asked.

Tucker rarely contemplated if it were a good lap or a bad lap. He just knew. However, every now and then, Tucker didn’t know for sure. So he would wait or test the water. Sometimes Tucker waited for an unexplainable signal, that only he knew, that told him all was well, run the other way, or simply wait for another day.

Tucker liked lots and lots of laps, just like me! He liked Kris’ lap, and not just because she taught him to catch popcorn flying through the air. Tucker loved to snuggle with Sammy, his best dog-friend. They even shared a bone! I suppose best friends are like sharing treats and snacks. Then there was Sharon’s lap. She loved playing with Tucker and never seemed to mind his wet nose pushed into her lap. Some people find this offensive, but not dog lovers.

Then there is me, of course! Mine was the very best lap of all, but not the only one. Tucker knew he could put his head in my lap just to say hello, to let me know he liked me, he needed some attention, he was hungry, or he needed to go out. Tucker always knew he could snuggle in my lap and go to sleep. It was a nice place, a warm place, a safe place to be. And I liked it too, when Tucker snuggled with me.

Sometimes Tucker had to wait, no matter how much he wanted to be in my lap. Coming to the dinner table, while I was eating, wasn’t a good idea. But if I were sitting on the floor, eating a bowl of ice cream while watching television, maybe, just maybe, he could put his head in my lap and wait. If he waited patiently, maybe he also got a snack. Tucker like licking ice cream bowls, just as much as I did.

Occasionally, Tucker found a not so good lap. He never would have put his head in the lap of the very angry man, who chased us down the street. Instead, Tucker bared his teeth and defended me. Dogs are very good friends to have at your side, when crossing paths with someone very mean. Tucker helped me more than once, when I was very frightened.

Tucker, however, wouldn’t put his head in the lap of a frightened child. Instead he would wait and wait and wait, patiently, well sort of patiently, even if his whole body squirmed with delight. Tucker loved children very much. He would wait in the down position until the child came to him, if and only if the child felt safe. Sometimes Tucker had to wait a long time for children to come to him. But making new friends sometimes takes lots of time. That’s okay.

Yes! Tucker taught me what I already knew, but then forgot, when I was really sad and depressed after my accident. It’s okay. Don’t be afraid. Find a good lap! There are lots and lots of laps around. Sometimes you can dive right into a very good lap. For others, you might have to wait. Some laps aren’t so good, and it’s okay to run the other way. It’s even okay to defend yourself when necessary. Trust yourself. Listen to your intuition. Don’t be afraid to try again. No matter how young, no matter how old, if you keep looking, you will FIND A GOOD LAP! One or two, or three or four, and even more. Any laps will do, so long as you decide. Always!

Marie G. Cooney, © April 3, 20011

For more information regarding future Tucker Taught Me stories, please see Lash and Associates Publishing/Training. They provide resources for people with brain injuries, family, friends, and professionals. Feedback THERE lets them know people are reading my blogs. Feedback HERE is also welcomed. Thanks.

http://www.lapublishing.com/   is their home page

http://www.lapublishing.com/blog/  is the blog home page

http://www.lapublishing.com/blog/2011/brain-injury-blog-post/ is introduction by Marie Cooney

http://www.lapublishing.com/blog/2011/brain-injury-blog-dog/  is Tucker Taught Me Find a Good Lap